Dear Santa:

Ho! Ho! Ho! – Merry Christmas to you. I look forward to your arrival this weekend.

Each year at this time you ask what I would like under the tree. My answer is a bit different this year.
Did you know that there is a craze, a buzz, a mystery, unlike any other? It’s even bigger than the Cabbage Patch Dolls from the early 80’s. Tim Tebow has gone from a Denver celebrity to the most talked about sports person in North America. Why that has happened is not really important but for this Christmas I ask if you Santa can deliver Tim Tebow Dolls that are exact replicas so he can spread his good luck and charm. Please deliver these Tebow Dolls to the:

 

Prince George Cougars:

 

Forget Tebow doesn’t play hockey, forget he has haters, forget he doesn’t throw the ball accurately, and even forget he may be one of the worst starting QB’s ever in the first 45 minutes of a game; this person is a leader, a gamer, a winner who defies all odds and thrives when under pressure. Just think of the culture he would change with the Cougars. I believe Prince George and the Cougars are ready for Tebow-mania.

 

Prince George Spruce Kings:

 

The number two kid, craving that much needed fanfare, doesn’t want to be shortchanged. The Spruce Kings need a spark to re-energize fans, and Tebow-ism will give that boost. Just imagine this magic scenario for a perfect Sunday at the Coliseum. Mr. Tebow delivers an 11am spiritual, motivational speech followed by a brief lunch, or shall I say “FOOD FOR THOUGHT”, and one final sermon to charge up the troops for their 3pm game. Now that would bring the excitement back to the franchise.

 

Cariboo Cougars:

The Tebow “soft” touch is just what this team needs to counter the brass, bold and often cocky Head Coach. While barking constructive criticism at players can be beneficial sometimes, Tebow could provide balance on the other side with a more mellow inspirational approach that would leave a heartfelt message unlike any heard in the dressing room before.

 

UNBC women’s soccer team:

They never win, but that would change with the presence of Tebow. He would be able to explain and demonstrate from personal experience what it is liked to be kicked upon, stomped on, beaten down, verbally trashed and thrown to the dumpster. His never give up attitude would permanently change this team’s complexion.

 

Inner City and Spruce Capital Boxing:

 

It’s time for two heads to become one. The coaches and fighters from both sides need a Tebow to act as a referee, settle the peace and bring them all together. Let’s get everyone to hold hands, sing songs (O Come All Ye Faithful Joyful and triumphant) let bygones be bygones, get into the Christmas, or shall I say, Tebow spirit and become one happy family. Only in Tebowland can this happen.

 

Thanks Santa. You remain the best. Perhaps you could also give yourself a sprinkle of Tebow. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Vixen, Blitzen, “Hixon” and Rudolf will all be wiser for it. I’m even betting, once Rudolf meets Tebow, his nose will no longer be red, however, only time will tell if it will GROW.

 

On the first day of Tebow, Timmy T gave to me, A Miracle win in OT,

On the 2^nd day of Tebow, Timmy T gave to me, 2 onside kicks and A Miracle win in OT,

On the 3^rd day of Tebow, Timmy T gave to me, 3 field goals, 2 onside kicks and A Miracle win in OT,

On the 4^th day of Tebow, Timmy T gave to me, 4 completed passes, 3 field goals, 2 onside kicks and A Miracle win in OT,

On the 5^th day of Tebow, A Higher Authority gave to me, Mare-EEE-ON Barber!, 4 completed passes, 3 field goals, 2 onside kicks and A Miracle win in OT,

 

Comedy Writer TC Chong

 

 

 

I feel very fortunate to be able to express myself each and every week through the media. I appreciate the opportunity granted me by 94X, the Wolf, Opinion 250 and the PG Free Press. On behalf of my wife Brenda and adult children Lucas and Lexine, I would like to extend my best wishes and happy holidays to my co-workers, contacts, acquaintances, readers, listeners and of course, friends and family.

 

I would also want to thank my regular quote rack contributors, especially Bill Littlejohn, Janice Hough, Derek Wilken, Jerry Perisho and Marc Ragovin. They are just like you and I, who hold down everyday jobs and for nonmonetary compensation email me their sports funnies.

 

Finally, regardless of beliefs and convictions, let us not take anything for granted and cherish the moment of the season.