NHL: The Vancouver Canucks lose the Western Conference Final to the Chicago Blackhawks; however, winning goalie Corey Crawford paid the ultimate compliment to his counterpart Roberto Luongo during an intense long series by stating, “I’ll pump his tires anytime”.

 

 

WHL: Goalies Drew Owsley (PG Cougars) and Ty Rimmer (Tri-City Americans) face their former team in the first round of the playoffs. Owsley’s .952 save percentage in the series isn’t enough as Prince George is eliminated. In speaking about the 20-year old Owsley, Cougars coach Dean Clark said. “We wanted his playoff experience. He certainly provided us with leadership. If only he had a
.982 save percentage, we would have won.”

 

 

BCHL: Good news and bad news for the PG Spruce Kings. The good news is, despite long odds at the start of the season, they qualify for the playoffs. The bad news is the Cinderella ride ends when they get destroyed by the Penticton Vees. In addition, the BCHL announces the playoff field will be reduced further next season to ensure teams don’t have to travel to Prince George.

 

 

BCMML: The Cariboo Cougars again lose in the BC Major Midget Hockey League playoffs to the Vancouver NW Giants. Cariboo coach Trevor Sprague is livid that his team received three times as many penalties as the Giants and demands an investigation which falls on deaf ears for the 4^th straight year.

 

 

NFL: Tim Tebow finally has a game where he passes for over 350 yards in a Denver Broncos victory. Tebow-mania is at an all-time high until American Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping predicts the end of time before Tebow plays another game.

 

 

CFL: The BC Lions repeat as Grey Cup champions but even bigger news is the league signs a new sponsorship deal with Wendy’s. In lieu of an increase to the $10 an hour player wage, all league personnel will receive Wendy’s coupons which can be used on any game day.

 

 

NBA: Finally, a ring for the king of basketball; the Miami Heat capture the championship over the Oklahoma City Thunder. Miami rookie Norris “the King” Cole hits the clutch shots in the deciding game and afterwards says he could not have done it without the support of Lebron and the rest of his teammates.

 

 

 

MLB: It’s a hat trick for the Texas Rangers as they lose in the World Series for the third consecutive year. The Philadelphia Phillies win the 7^th and deciding game by scoring four runs with two outs in the bottom of the 9^th for a 5-4 victory. The Rangers take consolation they were just a strike away from the championship on only “one” occasion.

 

CIS: The UNBC Lady Timberwolves have one of their better efforts in women’s soccer, dropping a 15-0 decision to Trinity Western University; however, TWU only scores three goals in the second half.

 

 

MMA: UFC president Dana White announces the biggest fight card in the history of the sport. The pay-per-view extravaganza will feature Angela Mosca vs. Joe Knapp in a special survivor handicap bout.

 

PGA: Tiger Woods returns to prominence as he is declared champion at the Masters. Tiger was able to snag more women of Masters Age than the rest of the field combined.

 

 

 

 

Why do Dallas Cowboys fans have the biggest flat screen televisions?

Because for years they haven’t had to waste money on playoff tickets. 

Lebron James is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, after proposing on New Year’s Eve. Well, at least one of them now has a ring. 
Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)

 

 

Police in Calgary are warning people about the dangers of ecstasy saying the drug has been linked to deaths and overdoses. The easiest way to get off ecstasy say experts is to stop cheering for the Flames.

NY Rangers coach John Tortorella said he believes the NHL and NBC tried to fix the Winter Classic to go into overtime. A spokesman for the NHL says the game was not fixed but he does expect Tortorella to be neutered.
Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/

 

 

New York Mets pitcher RA Dickey says he plans to climb Mount Kilimanjaro despite the team’s opposition. I guess he figures that playing for the Mets, this will be his only shot at a view from the top all season.
Comedy writer Marc Ragovin of New York  

 

 

Congratulations to the world’s eldest newlyweds — a 100-year-old man and a 90-year-old woman — in Orange County, Calif.
Talk about old: The bride and groom exchanged Cubs World Series rings.
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/sidelinechatter/

 

Carlos Zambrano has been dealt to the Marlins. When someone asked him if there would be tantrums and expletives in the clubhouse, Carlos replied, ‘Of course. Who would expect anything different from Ozzie Guillen?’

The ‘Play Tim Tebow’ billboard sign was actually concocted by three Islamic Bronco fans. After three straight losses, a Muslim cleric in Iran claimed ‘I Love It When A Plan Comes Together!’
Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

There is no truth to the rumor that Denver Broncos Tim Tebow will be changing his name to Tim Unocinco in honor of his latest quarterback rating. 

 

Re: Lindsay Vonn & Tim Tebow dating rumor. A spokesperson for the two said they are just friends sharing in the fact that their careers are both currently going downhill very very fast.
Comedy writer TC Chong

 

 

 

 

 

A western U.S. firm is advertising a toaster that supposedly burns an image of the Saviour on every slice. Okay, I can see the beard maybe, but where’s Tebow’s helmet?