Don’t worry, the following column is not intended to scare anyone, but I caution that today many unlucky ones suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia (fear of Friday the 13th).

 

 

A noticeable statistic for Brett Connolly is that the former Prince George and Cariboo Cougar played the final “50” games for the Tampa Bay Lightning without scoring a goal. The last time he found the back of the net was on November 17^th against Pittsburgh.

 

Keep in mind, Connolly was drafted 6^th overall in 2010 because he was a sniper. Of course, being 19 and a rookie in the NHL is entirely different than midget and major junior, but going nearly five months without a goal at any level has to wear on one mentally.

 

Connolly’s final first year numbers included 68 games played, four goals, 11 assists, 15 points, a minus-nine rating and 30 penalty minutes. He also averaged 15 shifts and 11:28 of ice time per game and was 12^th in scoring on Tampa Bay and 28^th in scoring among all rookies.

 

To suggest this season was a learning curve is an understatement. Many observers were surprised that Connolly even made the Lightning opening day roster, but after that novelty wore off he was sent by Tampa to play for Team Canada at the World Juniors. Upon his return to the Lightning he struggled at both ends of the ice, and eventually watched some games from the press box as a healthy scratch.

 

GM Steve Yzerman considered sending him back to the WHL and the Tri-City Americans (who acquired his junior rights from the Cougars on January 10th) but in the end Tampa decided to keep him at the NHL level.

 

It’s safe to say that expectations by the Lightning and Connolly himself will be much higher in his sophomore year. After all his lack of production numbers only have one direction to go.

 

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The NHL needs to revisit its conference standings. Florida finished with the 6^th fewest points in the Eastern Conference and Phoenix ended up with the 6^th fewest points in the west, yet both carry #3 seeds because they are division champions. Furthermore, the Panthers had a goal differential of minus-24, by far the worst of all playoff teams.

 

I understand it is an achievement to win a division, even a weak one, and yes teams should benefit, but the current format is excessive. Does anybody really believe that Florida and Phoenix are legitimate Stanley Cup contenders? Of course not!  

 

Certainly, it’s a switch to see these struggling franchises finally have a bit of success, but the league needs to make an amendment so at least the seeding for the second round goes on total points. Let’s say, for example, the Rangers, Florida, Pittsburgh and Washington all win their Eastern Conference quarter-final series. That means the Panthers get the Penguins in the 2^nd round and Florida would have home ice advantage despite finishing (in an easier division) with 14 less points. Does anyone see the logic in this? Who creates these ludicrous ideas in the first place or should I say third place?

 

 

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Ok, just for fun, here’s the chances in percentages (added up to 100) I give each of the 16 playoff teams to go all the way and win the Stanley Cup:

 

·       Pittsburgh:     15 %. Best all-around team with the most offensive weapons.

·       Detroit:          12 %. Experience makes them legitimate contender.

·       Vancouver:    12 %. More question marks offensively than a year ago.

·       NY Rangers: 10 %. It’s all on Henrik Lundqvist’s shoulders.

·       Boston:            8 %. Highly doubtful they are good enough to repeat.

·       Chicago:         7 %. Could go all the way if Corey Crawford plays like Lundqvist

·       Philadelphia:    5 %. Blue line not strong enough to win four rounds.

·       St. Louis:          5 %.   Everybody gets a case of the Blues by just watching them.

·       New Jersey:      5 % . They need Martin Brodeur of 2002, not 2012.

·       Nashville:         5 %.   Sleeper team (in more ways than one).

·       San Jose:            5 %. Keep in mind the Sharks always find a way to lose.

·       Washington        4 %. Might relish being an underdog for a change.

·       LA:                     3 %. Will go as far as Jonathan Quick carries them.

·       Phoenix              2 %. Only if they can win each game 1-0.

·       Ottawa                1 %. The nation’s capital politicians have a better chance of becoming popular.

·       Florida                1 %. Quack! Quack! They can go to Disney World if they pull off the miracle.

·       Toronto                        They remain the best Maple “Laugh” in the league, right Mr. Burke ?

 

A new survey says Canadians rank number five among the happiest people in the world. Number one if you exclude Maple Leafs fans.

A new study says looking back at distant memories can help you withstand today’s disappointments.
In a related story, the Maple Leafs missed the playoffs again.

Comedy writer RJ Currie www.Sportsdeke.com      

 

Toronto Maple Leafs goaltender James Reimer was relieved to find out his injury was neck related. All along he suspected it might be from the knives being stuck in his back.

Now that the Toronto Maple Leafs have been sold by the Teachers’ Pension Plan players will no longer have to go to school and apologize for missing the playoffs during show and tell.

Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgaryhttp://smacksport.blogspot.com

 

 

Got to hand it to Florida Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen. The guy reigns amongst sports figures for getting into the most trouble while still both avoiding arrest and keeping his pants on.

Tim Tebow gave an Easter Sunday sermon. Parishioners said the speech started slow but had a great last ten minutes. 

Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, Californiawww.leftcoastsportsbabe.com

 

 

Tim Tebow hosted a massive Easter Service. The title of his sermon–‘Can I Be Resurrected in New York?’

Alex Rodriguez has been contacted about playing a drag queen in an upcoming indie movie about Salvador Dali. His character is named A-Drag.

Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

 

 

Pitt linebacker Carl Fleming, who allegedly tried to swallow a plastic bag full of a green, leafy substance during a minor traffic stop, has been charged with two counts of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, drug possession, tampering with evidence, among other offenses. On the bright side, though, cops did credit him with half a sack.

 

 

Remember when Jack Nicklaus won The Masters with that oversized putter. Almost everyone had one in the weeks following. What’s the over/under on pink drivers you will now see every round?

Transgender contestants are now allowed to compete for Miss Universe. This should open the door for Chaz Bono to sign up for the next Mr Universe contest.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver

 

 

Sin Cup.

 

Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, with what he believes would be a suitable title for the adult video that features three of Tiger Woods’ former mistresses.

Pizza, vasectomies offered by the slice.

 

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express with this headline after a Maine urologist offered free pizza during March Madness with every vasectomy.
 

 

 

University of Florida Gators basketball player Erving Walker was arrested last Friday after he stole a $3 taco from a street vendor. Just curious: If Walker is convicted and given a jail sentence,
does that constitute taco time?