Hartley Miller's Slap Shots- October 31st Edition
Friday, October 31, 2008 03:45 AM
I didn’t travel with the PG Cougars during their disastrous nine game road trip which produced a paltry two points, but I can imagine what the coaches and General Manager were thinking as the losses mounted. 
Here is a (mock) game-by-game diary of this trip and what I suspect may have been comments that followed:
Oct 10th- Kamloops 4 PG 1: Shots Kamloops 34-16. Power Play (PP) Kamloops 0/4 PG 1/8
Coach Drew Schoneck: “We didn't shine; however, it's only one out of nine”
Asst coach/Asst GM Wade Klippenstein: “Dale Hunt wasn’t happy when I told him he was a healthy scratch, but at least it didn’t get physical”
GM Dallas Thompson: “Don’t worry; we’re still 6-2”
Oct 11. Kelowna 8 PG 1: Shots Kelowna 45-12. PP Kelowna 1/6 PG 1/4
Schoneck: “Reminds me of last year”
Klippenstein: “I have come to the conclusion that Ian Curtis doesn’t stop enough pucks”
Thompson: “I'm not impressed, but not many Cougar teams start 6-3”
Oct 15. Calgary 7 PG 2: Shots Cal 37-16. PP Cal 3/6 PG 0/3
Schoneck: “Army (Kevin Armstrong) gave up 7 goals in 47 minutes. I wonder if that is the same guy that played for us at CN Centre?”
Klippenstein: “At least we got to see the new guy in goal (Joe Caligiuri) for 13 minutes and he looked pretty good”
Thompson: “Calgary is a tough place to win, however, if you told me we would be 6-4 after 10 games I would have taken that”
Oct 17. PG 6 Edmonton 3: Shots Edmonton 40-29. PP Edmonton 2/5 PG 1/2
Schoneck: “Cam Cepak (plus 3) sure made Edmonton pay for trading him. We’re back on track boys. Extra sauce on the spaghetti for everyone”
Klippenstein: “I liked Caligiuri. We may have two old goalies now, but who is looking at age anyway?”
Thompson: “My wife (Brandi Brodsky) gave us the good luck we needed. Yippee, we are 7-4 and headed for more”
Oct 18. Red Deer 6 PG 4: Shots Red Deer 34-33. PP R.D. 1/6 PG 0/3
Schoneck: “More games like this and the guys won’t be having any more spaghetti, let alone sauce”
Klippenstein: “We trailed 6-1 after two but at least Dana (third period hat trick) didn’t quit”
Thompson: “Were they really a last place team that had lost seven straight? Oh well, 7-5 ain’t bad”
Oct 21. Lethbridge 6 PG 1: Shots Lethbridge 40-11. PP Lethbridge 0/5 PG 1/6
Schoneck: “I feel a bit for Dana (-6) and I’m starting to understand why many of our players were expendable from other teams”
Klippenstein: “We can’t blame this one on Army (since Caligiuri was in goal). Our defence sucked again”
Thompson: “Those damn cynics should understand that at 7-6, we still have a winning record”
Oct 22. Medicine Hat 7 PG 3: Shots Medicine Hat 36-23. PP M.H. 4/8 PG 0/3
Schoneck: “This Central Division is tougher and faster than I thought. And I’m still having difficulty understanding how Army lets in on average four more goals against on the road than at home”
Klippenstein: “What bugs me is that it was 4-3 with 6 minutes left. Cepak should never have taken that 5 minute major”
Thompson: “I don’t think I am going to phone Rick (Owner/father-in-law Brodsky). At 7-7, I get the feeling we are not moving up in the power rankings”
Oct 24. Kootenay 6 PG 3: Shots Kootenay 38-22. PP Kootenay 3/8 PG 1/4
Schoneck: “Just get me home, or out of my misery, whichever comes first”
Klippenstein: “We were ahead 2-0. If the game would have been just 10 minutes long, we would have been okay”
Thompson: “I wonder why the phone lines aren’t burning up for Dale Hunt. There are a few more guys I may have to put on the block. I am not going to put up with this 7-8 record anymore”
Oct 25. Spokane 4 PG 1: Shots PG 33-28 PP Spokane 1/3 PG 1/5
Schoneck: “Who in their right mind would have us playing 25 per cent of our road games in one swoop?”
Klippenstein: “I see why Spokane kept Tokarski (32 saves) over Army”
Thompson: “I had no choice about that schedule. After all, the Rodeo and Monster Trucks kicked us out of our home, but I do have a choice about the coaches. I hope my buddies realize they are in the last year of their contract, because 7-9 is unacceptable”
Ah, yes, life on the road with the Cougars. But give the guys a break. When a team is outscored 51-22 over 9 games, things can get a little testy.
From the quote rack:
“The Alberta government has raised the deposit on pop and beer bottles with the CFL warning this could ruin the fairness of the league wide salary cap.” Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)
“It was so long ago some of UM's latest recruits were just getting out of diapers -- and Joe Paterno was just getting into his.” Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen (www.theprovince.com/liveat5), following a Penn State football
win over Michigan for the first time in many years.
“The Rams are wondering why the Patriots had zero penalties last week. I hear the Pats videotaped the referees' walk-through practice.” Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California
“New Jersey Devils center Bobby Holik will miss 3-4 weeks because of a broken pinkie. That explains the wrong number phone call Holik got from Jessica Simpson.” Bill Littlejohn
“New Jersey Devils center Bobby Holik will miss 3-4 weeks because of a broken pinkie. That explains the wrong number phone call Holik got from Jessica Simpson.” Bill Littlejohn
“Scary thought? An expansion team in Toronto. A team worse than the Leafs in Toronto? Hasn't the city suffered enough?”Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)
“In the US, the McCain campaign is taking some heat for spending about $150,000 on Sarah Palin's clothes. As badly as the campaign is doing this October, however, you'd expect some of her suits to have pinstripes.”Janice Hough
“Chicago is now the murder capital of the U.S., moving ahead for the year in homicides over New York and Los Angeles. After the Cubs playoff meltdown, the city needed something to cheer about.” Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)
“In Denmark, artists and scientists have teamed up to create a walking house that maneuvers on 6 hydraulic legs. We have a “walking house” in the United States. It’s called “Shaquille O’Neal”.” Comedy writer Jerry Perisho http://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/
“The thieves took hundreds of dollars of cosmetics and beauty products, and they stole some of Victoria's stuff, too.” NBC's Jay Leno, after a couple of housekeepers for Victoria and David Beckham were charged with stealing.
And in case you missed it:
The world's heaviest man, who is nearly 700 pounds (which is 550 less than two years ago) married his girlfriend in northern Mexico. “I'm extremely happy and never felt better” said John Daly.
Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com
Previous Story - Next Story
Email
Print
Facebook
Twitter
Digg
Del.icio.usReturn to Home
Posted by: PG_77 on November 1 2008 8:05 AM