It's that time again; when columnists act like gypsies and gaze into their crystal balls, and try to predict the future. Here are a dozen of the many events I envision for 2009:

 

The Waffle Man….Mats Sundin will have that multi-million dollar smile after every goal he scores for the Vancouver Canucks. Once the season ends, Sundin will shock the world by announcing he wants to be the first player to open a state of the art “Waffle House”. Brett Favre will proclaim he would like to join Mats as a partner.

 

Good old kin….The Prince George Cougars will sneak into the playoffs. In order to not waste any tickets and still keep the fans in the same area, the Cougars will request city officials to move their home playoff dates from CN Centre to the Kin Centre.

 

Alaska bound…In an effort to boost their public relations image, the Prince George Spruce Kings will bring in Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, to drop the puck prior to their second and final home playoff game.

 

Bring in the “Juice”… Jose Canseco will be a big hit at the World Baseball Challenge in Prince George, helping the local Axmen team to a 5th place finish. To celebrate his return to prominence, Canseco will be hired as a spokesman for an unnamed “Juice” company.

 

Bust in the Bronx…AJ Burnett will turn out to be another big money bust for the New York Yankees; however, the team will be thrilled with CC Sabathia and will ask him to pitch in a one man rotation.

 

Cubbies prevail…Players on the Chicago Cubs will capture a World Series; no, not baseball, but rather the World Series of Poker.

 

Repeat in the Big Apple…The New York Giants will repeat as Super Bowl champions. Plaxico Burress will credit the unstoppable shotgun offence.

 

Budget Cutbacks….Despite many cost cutting measures, the BC Lions will win the Grey Cup, and will celebrate with a gigantic party, using their two-for-one coupons at McDonald’s.

 

NBA Dad…A 72-year-old woman will proudly announce she is pregnant although she won’t be able to identify which NBA star is the father.

 

On the road again…The UNBC Men’s and Women’s basketball teams will be accepted into the CIS but only on one condition: That they only play road games.

 

Recapture the magic….Tiger Woods will return and will once again dominate golf. John Daly will announce he could beat Woods if he gave up booze, smokes, women, gambling and punching out photographers.

 

PR Specialist….Saying they need a boost to the communications department, organizers of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics will hire Stephane Dion as an English spokes person.

 

 

 

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My Boxing Day was unlike any other one I have experienced. I found a new job, even if I was only hired for 12 hours. Yes, from 5am to 5pm I worked at Future Shop, as a general helper carrying items for customers and staff, from one place to another, often to the purchaser's vehicle.

 

You've heard of take your daughter to work day. Well, it was just the opposite in my family as for my daughter, Lexine, it was take your dad to work day. Lexine is a sales associate at Future Shop and for one day I had the opportunity to see the operation of a major electronic store from the inside.

 

It may seem strange, but there is a sports analogy to this story since success is based on team and teamwork. At times, I felt I was in a middle of a football huddle. There were great big cheers from the staff to get the day started (just like football players do for the big game); there were the motivating speeches from the store managers (who acted like coaches) to fire up the troops (the sales product experts); there were the crowds flocking in to the store (just like fans rushing to their seats for kickoff); and there were friendly competitions within the workplace (similar to a team offense suggesting they can perform better than the defence or vice versa).

 

In the end, it was well worth stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. It may have only been an entry level position, for one day, but I can honestly say the very young staff in the store, as well as the all important customers made it a fun and worthwhile endeavor. And that is just what I was hoping for.

 

 

“Greg Norman's ex-wife got a divorce settlement of $103 Million. Not only that, but Norman has now officially lost his title of "The Shark" to her divorce attorney.”Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)

“There was a lot of concern when John Daly was tested and doctors found blood in his beer stream.”Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the PGA Tour's new drug tests.

“John Daly was jailed for public intoxication outside of a 'Hooters' restaurant. The good news for John is that he had the biggest boobs in the place that night.”Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

 

“Michael Phelps has a 12,000-calorie-a-day diet. That's one record he has to share--with John Daly.”Contributor Bill Littlejohn

“Did you hear about the new Plaxico Burress cocktail? Just one very expensive shot.”Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)

“And an inauspicious start which included dropping his pants in the locker room at halftime, Mike Singletary will be offered a multi-year deal to coach the 49ers. Wonder if this means his quarterback coach will be Warren Moon?”
Janice Hough

 

“I never realized how brutal the Super Bowl can be. Guys hobbling around, straining their muscles, taking tons of painkillers --and that was just Tom Petty and the Heart-breakers.”CBS Late-night talk-show host Craig Ferguson.

“You’ve seen a quarter crack before. You saw it the last time you had a plumber come by the house to work on your kitchen sink.”Comedy writer Jerry Perishohttp://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/, on Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown having a quarter crack in his left front hoof.

 

 

“Stephen Page the lead singer of the Bare-naked Ladies who played at an NHL All Star game was arrested on charges of cocaine possession so I guess we know what he would buy with $1 million.”Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)

“Roger Clemens was obviously having trouble with his facts during his testimony because everyone knows he dated Miss Remember after Miss October.”Derek Wilken

 

 

“CNN show host Larry King, coaching his 9-year-old son's Beverly Hills Little League team, got into a squabble with umpires and had to be told to tone down his act, the New York Observer reported. No truth to the rumor he's been suspendered for two weeks.”Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times

 

“You believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”Former Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Mark Hendrickson, with his top pickup line