IMO the people that cheat their responsibility are as despicable as the people that use this process to destroy a former spouse. Its become a lottery system for some, a vindictive venue for others, and its for losers (or victims of losers) for the most part.

IMO when it comes to family matters men should be men and women should be women. Beyond that involves risks and unknowns and a life of legal costs and problems... missed priorities and dysfunction as a result.

I'm still waiting to see how the 'alternative' relationships settle their scores through this process lol. That would make for very funny/sad court TV.

I agree that an entire overhaul of this system is long overdue. From what I see it is only the situations where both parents are willing to do what is right by their children (regardless of what their lawyers tell them) that peace and a healthy environment for the children can truly exist.

While most people are mostly good, this is a situation which doesn't need to tempt or provide opportunity to either gender to attain advantage over the other, ie; control or involvement with their kids, monetary or anything else.

Even when the seperation is reasonably amicable at first it seems that enterprising lawyers can quickly convince people to fight for whatever they can get..regardless of the consequances to peace with their former partner or their children's wellbeing. Peace is actually the most important part to the children's wellbeing.

If peace doesn't exist and a court is forced or asked to intervene, it is likely that even a worse situation will follow. Whatever peace which might have existed is likely destroyed by this adversarial process.

Statistics from court ordered decisions show clearly that genders are not even close to equal in who typically gets custody or who is typically expected to be the breadwinner/supporter.

It is because of this known and therfore expected imbalance that the court is often used to leverage control of custody (which has the subtle name of "primary residence") and therefore the monetary support which goes with it.
It becomes an instrument to ensure a flow of money, control of the children and perhaps even the perfect device to deliver revenge.

Once the courts are known to actually deliver balanced gender neutral decisions and that is the expected "norm", many adversarial fights will be avoided and peace will have a much better chance.

When both parents are obligated/allowed to being active and meaningfull parents to their children, each responsible for directly parenting and supporting the financial needs, peace will have a much better chance.

When it is known that even after a divorce occurrs that full coparental cooperation with an ex spouse is absolutely obligated for as long as the children are minors, that perhaps even the incedence of divorce would be reduced. The notion would be that you cannot nor should not gain anything from running away from your responsibilities.

OK, I guess there's a time to keep my mouth quiet, but I never seem to know when that is lol. I realize each situation is unique to its circumstances, so making a generalization on this topic probably isn't appropriate... for those that truly do need the system for justice I apologize if my remarks can be construed in a way that is offensive.

By the time it gets to court, kids are chattels or pawns, nothing more. That is the system.