Hartley Miller's Slap Shots August 28th, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009 03:45 AM

Dany Heatley’s public comments last week reaffirmed, in my mind, that he is a selfish player who believes he deserves special treatment because he is perceived to be one of the so called few NHL superstars.

The following is a compilation of Heatley’s public statements accompanied with my interpretation:

"When I signed in Ottawa two years ago, I felt it was to be an integral part of the team. Over the last two years and more recently over the past year, I feel my role was diminished. This past season, it diminished a lot more.”

Translation: The new coach (Cory Clouston) did not play him enough. In fact, Dany should be “calling the shots” here and setting ice time. Who does that new no name coach think he is anyway?

"This is a straight hockey decision. I have nothing against the fans of Ottawa, or the city of Ottawa.”

Translation: In other words, do not boo me too loudly when I play here next. Please feel sorry for me because there would be no issue if I just got my way.

His response to why he vetoed a deal to Edmonton when he asked for a trade:

"It has nothing to do with Edmonton. It has everything to do with the option. To this date, there has only been one option, and I know that there are other teams out there. I don't feel I can make the right decision until there are a few options and I can make the right decision for my career."

Translation: The Oilers do not offer him enough good players as teammates so he can fatten his stats. Besides, I am (Heatley) not the first person who has had no desire to play in Edmonton.

"I love the fans in Ottawa. I think it's a great city, and that's why I signed long-term there."

Translation: He will stay in Ottawa for a lengthy time as long as he can dictate his playing time
and line mates. In other words, he will play in Ottawa as long as he receives the red carpet treatment.

"I regret the way it has been this summer, and it hasn't been fair - especially to Edmonton and Ottawa. But that's the way it went."

Translation: Of course, he regrets it. His image is tarnished and he does not believe he has done anything wrong.

"It's unfortunate that it became public, because that is not what I wanted."

Translation: Once again, this issue is all about what “I” want. Naturally, he did not want to be disturbed while he is relaxing in the sunny Okanagan.

“I would like the opportunity to go somewhere where I can play to the best of my capabilities and be the player that I can be."

Translation: Yes, he is easy to get along with and very flexible in nature. I mean, let’s be honest, he is agreeable to go play anywhere as long as it is San Jose or another destination of HIS choice.

The Heatley saga is very simple; it is about power and control. It also begs the question; should a high profile player be in charge or does the team who signs the pay cheque carry the power? Heatley was happy as long as his scoring stats and ice time maintained, and the Senators were winning. His commitment changed in a flash when there was a reduction in his role and when adversity set in. Dany Heatley’s case is an example of how some spoiled athletes feel their employer’s should just bow to their wishes. Who said there is no “I” in team?

Yes, local hockey is back for another season as both the Prince George Cougars and PG Spruce Kings start their training camps.

Although there are not as many conflicts as in previous years, the Spruce Kings still play 10 of their 30 home dates at the Coliseum on the same night as the PG Cougars are home at CN Centre. The first variance in the scheduled is slated Saturday, September 12. It is an exhibition game for the Cats against Kamloops while the Spruce Kings entertain Penticton. The remaining 9 dates (three Fridays
and six Saturdays) when both teams play at home in regular season play are: October 2nd, 24th and 31st, November 21st, January 16th, 22nd, and 23rd and February 5th and 6th.

From the quote rack:

In the U.S., the "Cash for Clunkers" program is over. But in Canada we can still buy tickets for the Maple Leafs.

Carlos Gonzalez of the Colorado Rockies is day-to-day with a puncture wound in his hand. Gonzalez claims he hurt himself on a steak knife while he was putting a dish in his kitchen sink. The story is more than a little suspicious, he expects us to believe a man actually put a dish in the sink?

In a recession year, the CFL was hoping to boost attendance with a fairy tale season. Unfortunately, the fairy tale seems to be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Have you heard about the Brett Favre cocktail? Could be one of the greatest drinks ever, but it's hard to know when to quit.

Definition of eternity? Waiting behind Brett Favre for your turn in the voting booth.
Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)

In Connecticut, a Wal-Mart employee is being accused of beating an assistant manager with an aluminum baseball bat after he’d been reprimanded. What a great advertising opportunity: “You can beat our assistant managers, but you can’t beat our prices on aluminum bats at Wal-Mart”.

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho http://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/

Sheryl Weinstein says that Bernie Madoff was 'a good kisser'. She found out when she kissed her money good-bye.

Plaxico Burress has hired a consultant to help him adapt to prison life. Before sentencing, he was hoping it would be Robin Leach.A newspaper photo helped to identify a Seattle man with amnesia---Shaun Alexander is expected to make a full recovery.

An Ohio man spelled out a marriage proposal to his girl in an Ohio wheatfield. The hard part was getting it on the JumboTron Scoreboard. Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

My 16-year-old son took his first cab ride the other night. I asked him the next morning if he tipped the driver: "No, I didn't,'' he said, "but at least I didn't punch him in the head and rob him.

Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Star Phoenix

A Phoenix taxi driver has decided to donate a kidney to a frequent passenger. See, this is where Patrick Kane screwed up. He thought he was in a self-service cab.

Well finally some good news. According to experts who have read the fine print of the Obama health plan, the feds would have the power to pull the plug on Brett Favre.

A tale of two teams: The Phillies celebrate a walk-off unassisted triple play. The Mets celebrate when their injured players walk to rehab unassisted. Comedy writer Marc Ragovin of New York

A psychological exam is being sought for the woman suing Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino for $10 Million. Pitino is married, has an affair, gets her pregnant, pays for her to have an abortion, spends three hours a day on his hair and SHE needs her head examined? Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)

When Pres. Obama heard, Louisiana coach Rick Pitino paid for his hookers’ health care he said one down 49,999,999 left to insure.

Minnesota Wild owner Craig Leopold was late in writing a letter making the case that Jim Balsillie would be a bad NHL owner as he was busy writing a character reference to help Boots Del Biaggio qualify for conjugical visits
Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)

And in case, you missed it:

Personally, I cannot imagine an NFL without Brett Favre, primarily because he won't give me a freaking chance.
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg

Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com

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