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Hartley Miller's Slap-Shots - December 18th Edition

By Hartley Miller

Friday, December 18, 2009 03:45 AM

Bitterly cold, enough to give one the shivers! No, I am not referring to the weather Prince George residents experienced this week. In reality, this blustery picture remains in a deep freeze for much longer.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Welcome your Prince George Cougars and P.G. Spruce Kings. 
 
The WHL regular season is approaching the midway point while the BCHL is slightly further along with roughly 60 per cent completed, and the results speak for themselves. It is fitting both teams are in a pulp mill town because both (and this is not a news flash) STINK. No if ands or buts, candy or nuts, and let us not sugar coat anything here. After a certain point, year in and year out, what more is there to say? Just when one believes these franchises have hit rock bottom, “BOOM” goes the dynamite. Did I really say that?
 
The Cougars are 17 points out of a playoff spot and have been outscored by a 2-1 margin (150-75). They are 2-15-1-1 on the road, and 4-10 at home. Yes, a healthy Brett Connolly would have improved those numbers but nowhere near to a point that they would be consistently competitive.
 
Meanwhile, the Spruce Kings hold an inexcusable home record of 5-16-1 to go along with a road mark of 7-6-0-2. In fact, the Kings still do not have a victory against a team with a winning record (0-14-1). That is hard to believe, but then again, considering their rocky past, maybe not.
 
These sub-standard results are reflected at the gate. Attendance for both teams is down with only diehards in the stands, approximately 2,000 for the Cougars and about half of this total for the Spruce Kings. The Public Relations and hockey department for both teams can continue to give one excuse (I am sorry reason) after another for their dismal showing but after a while, the dribble goes in one ear and out the other.
 
There is no need for stating lengthy details about why again this junior season is a write off locally. If the Cougars and Spruce Kings were having a bad year, then there is no need to for concern. That can happen to even the best of franchises. However, history states that this continual losing is a long-term trend with several either missed playoff appearances or quick first round exits.
 
So, here is the sad part; apathy has set in. Fewer people care (which has to be a concern to the sponsors). As a result, there is significantly less media coverage. It is one thing when fans are angry and show emotion, but it is far worse when they tune out and stop talking about Prince George junior hockey. We have now reached a point, that many local residents will even turn away free tickets. 
 
How do these organizations fix things? I do not believe one strategy will change fortunes, but both teams, at the end of their season, need to examine their management structure.
 
It is going to be a long and slow progress on the road to respectability. Like many in this community, I want to believe there is always hope and that the sun will eventually shine. However, the “burning” provocative question remains,  when?
  
*
 
Make no mistake about it; Martin Brodeur is the man who should play goal in the key games for Canada at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. When Brodeur was injured for a lengthy period last season, there were questions about whether the 37-year-old could return to standout form. His performance this season for the New Jersey Devils re-affirms he should be chosen over Roberto Luongo and Marc-Andre Fleury. (I am assuming those will be the three goalies named in less than two weeks by Team Canada Executive Director Steve Yzerman). Brodeur is the incumbent, has key international experience, and has the numbers this season to back up his play. He recently tied Terry Sawchuk’s career shutout record of 103 and Patrick Roy's record for regular-season appearances by a goalie of
1,029. In addition, the Montreal native leads the NHL in wins and has the best save percentage among Canadian born net minders. When all decisions are final and the Olympic hockey playoffs are on, Brodeur has that trust factor. End of story.
 

 From the quote rack:  

 
 
President Obama will donate the $1.4 million that comes with the Nobel Peace Prize to charity.
Tiger Woods is giving $1.4 million to Charity; and Hope, and Faith, and Helen, and Jasmine, and Bubbles, and…
 
 
Now there are rumors swirling about alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods taken by one of his mistresses.
So, he may lose all the other endorsements, but he’s got Polaroid. 
 
Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi was hit in the face Sunday by a deranged man. He got a fractured nose and two broken teeth. He looked like Tiger Woods on a bad night. 
 
The New York Post is reporting that Tiger Woods hired high-priced prostitutes several times from a well-known Hollywood madam.
Once during a night of wild sex, Tiger encountered an obstruction. It turns out he was still wearing his Ryder Cup.
 
Comedy writer Jerry Perishohttp://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/
 
 
The newest gift this season? The Tiger Woods advent calendar. Every day in December another window opens to a surprise.
As the holidays approach, police remind us that texting while driving is dangerous. Also texting while chipping, putting and walking the fairways. As Tiger Woods will attest.
How bad a month are the Dallas Cowboys having? They are considering signing an endorsement contract with Tiger Woods. 
 
Gillette says they will now "limit" their marketing with Tiger Woods. In the remaining ads, they are considering changing their slogan from "The Best a Man can Get." to the "The Most a Man Can Get." 
Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)
 
 
The last Tiger Woods commercial to have aired was a Gillette ad back on November 29th. Gillette razors gave Tiger the second closest shave he has ever had in his life.
 
Former Tiger Woods mistress Jamie Grubbs says that Tiger has trouble sleeping at night. Apparently she isn't sure if the cause was being married with two small children, trying to maintain his athletic status or juggling twelve girlfriends on the side.
Researchers at NYU say they can wipe away bad memories with a unique non-drug therapy. They have already received a call from Tiger Woods who asked if they can just wipe out November 27th for him.
Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)
 
 
The tabloids' Tiger Woods mistress count, in barely two weeks of trying, has reached double figures. Who would've guessed they'd already be into the back nine?
 
 
The list of Tiger Woods's girlfriends is amazing. It includes porn stars and pancake waitresses. And that is just the P's.
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg http://www.thordoggie.blogspot.com/
 
 
Oprah has made an offer to Tiger to clear the air on her show the first woman who wants him on a couch in a vertical position.
Mental health experts think Tiger may suffer from a rare form of sex addiction that causes men who are rich and powerful to act out. Most women say it's just par for the course.
Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)
 
 
Tom and Giselle may wanna curb their enthusiasm over their new kid. He's not even two days old and already he's being described as a little tiger. What?
I see where JaMarcus Russell said his benching is just a "road bump" in his career. Yeah, and the Titanic just hit some choppy waters. 
Comedy writer Marc Ragovin of New York
 
They've explained a mysterious sky spiral over Norway as a failed Russian rocket and not a failed JaMarcus Russell pass.
Jessica Simpson is now dating a Smashing Pumpkin. Isn't that what Tony Romo became when she attended his games?

The Big Ten is considering expanding to 12 teams. Who's doing the math, Terry Bradshaw?
 
While shooting scenes in his upcoming film 'Avatar', director James Cameron needed something to make his actors react as if they were getting pummeled. He threatened to force them to do PR for the Maple Leafs. 
Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California
 
In Kentucky, a woman who is 2-foot-4 recently gave birth. The father was ecstatic, saying, "Thank you so much for giving me a future Montreal Canadiens forward.” 
Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Star Phoenix
 

 
And in case you missed it:

 
 
The irony gods are relentless; the Chinese zodiac's Year of the Tiger begins the day after Valentine's Day, 2010. 
Vancouver comedy writer Torben Rolfsen
 
   
Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com.


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Comments

What's definition of stupidity.....? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result!
Fans started bringing "fire Dempsey" posters 2 1/2 years ago..... but somehow the Kings board members have failed to see what's really going on with the coaching staff. It appears his coaching method on the bench, rolling of eyes, derisive gestures, and screaming at the players, is acceptable to the board members. In fact to the dismay of all the fans I've spoken with at every game, they re-signed him to 2 more years of misery! There's been lotsa talent go thru the team over the years of his reign with poor results so there must be more to the problem than the players. He's been the one constant that hasn't changed, well beside the dismal showings...
"but both teams, at the end of their season, need to examine their management structure."

Been there, said that. In fact it's been said for many years by most of the hockey fan community that Dallas Thompson needs to go. I have never seen anybody fail so miserably at their job in any profession and be able to keep their position.

Here's a few tidbits other than his bad management. In between periods Thompson would leave his eagles nest view and run down to the dressing room and start yelling at the Cougars. Isn't it the job of the Coach to "speak" to the players, encourage them and possibly draw up a few plays for better period coming? If you're the GM stay the hell out of the dressing room.

In the past, Thompson had asked CN Centre to put up plexiglass in between his perch and the general audience. What's the matter Dallas? Can't take the heat? He has since moved where he watches the game from.
"Dallas Thompson needs to go" You bet your bottom line he has to go.