It is hard to imagine, but I can be a realist. I do comprehend the concept that media may create stories and excitement, but is it necessary to get the play-by-play on whether the Toronto Maple Leafs are going to trade Tomas Kaberle? Additionally, to a lesser degree, media constantly bombards their collective audiences with trade speculation stories on other hockey players including Vancouver’s Kevin Bieksa, and ex P.G. Cougar Sheldon Souray of the Edmonton Oilers. Co-incidence or not, all three are defencemen on a Canadian team.

 

There is a slim chance that by the time you read this column, one of these aforementioned players will move to another team. Is it too much to ask to wait until there is a trade before this topic is back in the news? Let the process finish.

 

I know Toronto is the centre of the Universe, but it has been over a year since we heard about Kaberle and all the trade deadlines. Apparently, now, his dad says Tomas is not happy playing for Coach Ron Wilson. Sportsnet quotes Papa Kaberle as saying, “he doesn’t see Tomas playing for the Leafs the entire season”, even though a no-trade clause has now kicked in.

 

All right, enough already !Yes, the Leafs may trade Kaberle to pick up a scorer. Perhaps, the Canucks will unload Bieksa for salary cap reasons; and possibly, the Oilers will trade Souray for criticizing team management.

 

Of course, I will be interested if, and when, someone trades a player, but there is no need for constant verbal diarrhea beforehand. 

 

Thank goodness, NHL training camps open next month. I am sure that there will be other more important things to talk about.

 

#

 

Can somebody wake me up when the so-called pennant races in Major League Baseball are complete? Talk about a “snooze fest”!

 

I should be angry that 25 Toronto Blue Jays games have switched from existing Sportsnet stations to the new Sportsnet 1 station. Rogers Cable is the only distributor broadcasting Sportsnet 1, which means many people across Canada do not receive the Jays telecasts. Are we really missing much?

 

The Jays, an average team, this year, are not in contention. This is due, in part, because they are in the strongest division in baseball, the AL East.

 

Now, with the change to Sportsnet One, audiences for some Jays games are down over 90 per cent going from an average of roughly half-a-million viewers to as low as between 30 and 40 thousand (Source:BBM Canada Audience). In other words, not a lot of folks subscribe to Rogers.

 

With 5 ½ weeks remaining in the regular season, which ends on October 3, I lack enthusiasm for the stretch drive. Yes, the Jays may be out of contention but they are one of many “have not” teams in the Majors...

 

 

Let's analyze the two leagues: 

 

American League:

 

Since the beginning of the season, the Yankees and the Tampa Rays have dominated the AL East. The team that does not win the division will qualify as a wild card unless Boston makes a late charge.

 

AL Central leading Minnesota only area of concern is the Chicago White Sox and Texas holds a comfortable lead in the weak West.

 

Are you inspired yet?

 

National League:

 

It is just Atlanta and Philadelphia in the East with the team not winning the division the front-runner for the wild card spot.

 

There are six teams in the NL Central, yet only Cincinnati and St Louis boast winning records. The other four teams are non-factors.

 

In the NL west, San Diego is a pleasant surprise leading the way with San Francisco still in the hunt. Does this stir you now?

 

Folks that is it! Yes, the baseball season features little drama, marginal interest, and a few great stories. Therefore, I for one am not screaming, throwing a tantrum, or even annoyed about less Blue Jays on television. However, I do think Rogers has made a huge mistake in shifting those Toronto games, but others can bark about that.

 

I am now just waiting for the playoffs. Actually, can you please re-set that alarm for the World Series?

 

Roger Clemens was indicted on perjury charges for lying to Congress. When will they ever learn? You just cannot get away with lying on Capitol Hill in Washington– unless you’ve gotten there by being elected. 

 

Vin Scully has announced he will return to the Dodgers for his 62th season in 2011. Sixty-two seasons? Scully just missed Jamie Moyer’s rookie year. 

 

The Potash Corp is under a hostile takeover offer from an Australian company in what is sure to be the biggest battle for a fertilizer-based product since LeBron took his talents to Miami.

A bull in Spain jumped into the stadium during a fight which was the most serious case of bull in a stadium since (former Blue Bombers coach) Mike Kelly left Winnipeg. 

 

 

 

 

A bull jumped into the crowd and injured dozens of spectators in Spain. Guess someone was playing a Ron Artest rap CD.

French and Albanian archeologists are buzzing with excitement after uncovering the bust of an unknown athlete that dates back to the 2nd Century AD. They're calling it 'Leafus JaMarcusus'.

Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

 

 

News reports suggest Kim Kardashian has broken up with Cowboy's receiver Miles Austin. Word is she got tired of the two-a-days.

The Cincinnati Bengals have been sitting receivers in Porta-Potties as part of passing drills. It's not clear whether it's to help them find a hole in the zone or to work on their dump. 

 

 

 

On HBO's "Hard Knocks" New York Jet Antonio Cromartie had a rather difficult time trying to remember the names of all eight of his children. Tune in next week for the hilarious episode when Cromartie tries to remember the names of all the mothers of those children. 

 

 

“Vuvuzela” has made it into the Oxford Dictionary. You can find it right there under “annoying”, “loud” and “obnoxious”.

Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)

 

 

Phillies minor-leaguer Tyson Gillies, obtained from the Mariners in the Cliff Lee trade, has been charged with felony cocaine possession after he allegedly left it on the floorboard of a Clearwater, Fla., police cruiser that had given him a post-midnight ride back to the team hotel.
Which, if true, certainly gives "he missed the bag" a whole new meaning. 

 

 

 

So federal prosecutors convicted Rod Blagojevich on one of 24 charges brought against him. Hmmm,  one for 24. Sounds like the Mets' batting average with the bases loaded. 

 

 

Former US figure skating champ Nicole Bobek was sentenced after participating in a crystal meth ring.  When she said she loved the ice, she meant it.

Marijuana growers in Western Canada have been using bears to guard and protect their illegal crops.  Suddenly, Smokey seems very, very cool.

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho http://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

Shaquille O'Neal is going to play for the Boston Celtics. I don't want to say Shaq is getting old, but he announced his decision in a one-hour special on The History Channel.

Jay Leno of NBC.