UFOs, lawn chairs, and the HST
By Peter Ewart
Friday, November 12, 2010 03:44 AM
By Peter Ewart
A few years ago, I read a book called “The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done”. My favourite anecdote of all time from the book, based on a true event, was about some guy in Los Angeles who, one day in his backyard, decided he wanted to fly to his girlfriend’s house rather than drive. So the clever fellow hooked up his lawn chair to some helium balloons and, sure enough, with a six pack of cold beer in his lap, he and his mighty chair rose high above the city of angels.
To descend, he had an ingenious idea. He would simply pop the balloons one by one with an air pistol he was carrying and land on his girlfriend’s lawn. But a little problem came up - he dropped the pistol. Thus, a while later, two airline pilots had the bizarre task of calling into the airport that, at fifteen thousand feet, they had just flown by a UFO that looked remarkably like a man drinking beer in a lawn chair. Eventually, the helium leaked out of the balloon and, luckily for him, this budding aviation genius ended up landing in someone’s backyard swimming pool many miles away.
I thought of this story when I read an article in the Globe & Mail (Nov. 11) about how the BC government is now saying, in some newly-released documents, that the cost to the province of axing the HST may be as much as $5 billion. To pay for this supposed shortfall, the government ominously warns personal income taxes may have to be doubled, fuel taxes jacked up, provincial programs dramatically cut, and so on – yet another thinly-veiled and contrived scare tactic to try and convince the people of BC that we have no choice but to accept this hated tax.
For over a year, the government has promoted the tax as being “revenue neutral”. Now, suddenly, some mysterious “internal” documents are released claiming that the cost of rejecting the HST will be $5 billion. It all sounds fishy.
Whatever the real figures are (and we will have to throw this government out if we ever want to get an honest answer), Campbell’s decision to impose the HST has to rank as one of the stupidest things anyone has done anywhere in North America, if not the world, in the last while.
Could it be that the idea for the HST was cooked up by the Premier and Finance Minister Colin Hansen in some backyard also. Maybe at a Legislature barbecue? I can see them both urging nervous government MLAs to sit down in the rickety lawn chairs spread over the grass, while they fasten the HST balloon strings to the metal arms. Then I see the Premier and Minister Hansen sitting down, each in his own chair, frozen smiles on their faces. And then, ever so slowly, this flotilla of ever-loyal HST supporters rises up in the sky towards a setting sun.
What should we, as British Columbians, do while the balloons float away? Well for starters, we can wave goodbye to the Premier and his cohorts, get rid of the HST, and get down to discussing and designing a fair tax system that really works for the province.
Then we might send a letter to the authors of “176 of the Stupidest Things Ever Done”, letting them know about the story of a certain Premier and a certain tax that they might just want to include in the next edition.
And, oh yes, we should warn airline pilots to be on the lookout for UFOs.
Peter Ewart is a writer and columnist based in Prince George, British Columbia. He can be reached at: peter.ewart@shaw.ca
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How parochial can one get????!!!
Ontario did it at the same time.
Other provinces did it before.
They just did not have Premiers called Campbell. ...