Hartley Miller's Slap Shots - Friday September 2nd Edition

By Hartley Miller

This is an open letter to the Prince George Athletic Commission 

Attention: George Winter, Harold Mann and Eric Hunter 

Hi Guys, 

I realize you don't have much clout, and you take a lot of abuse in this position, but I am trying to go through the proper authorities so I can get approval for a very exciting event. I would like to get permission to stage a fight card this year, right here in Prince George. The city is now on the “map” and has established itself as North America’s “let the dukes fly” town. 

Although I am a rookie promoter, I still want a first class show. This means no Hockey Enforcers because I want the paying public to actually know who the participants are. Also, drinking will be taboo, just so the fighting and beer tossing doesn't extend to the crowd. We will even have a public address announcer catering to the fans. As for the fights and the rules, we can discuss that later, but I'm open to options. 

The combatants aren't confirmed, but here's my proposed card. And just to make it a tad more interesting, you'll notice Hartley’s odds in brackets: 

- Opener: The Battle of two Clubs featuring Bob Pegues of Inner City Boxing vs Wayne Sponagle of Spruce Capital. It's Pegues, the self promoter, against the 59-year-old Sponagle, the no promoter. This is anything but a love affair.
(Sponagle 6 to 5 favorite) 

- Ladies Opener: Eryn Collins, 94X and Wolf@97FM, News Director, vs Harpreet “I just want to be liked by everyone” Sidhu of the PG Free Press. The winner will claim the PG Media Queen Championship. Sorry Harpreet, I've seen EC's nasty side, and this may not last one round. (Collins 8 to1) 

- Grudge Match: Ben Meisner of Opinion250 vs his former boss, Ken Kilcullen, GM of CKPG and The Drive. After their bitter divorce, the sparks will fly. Meisner may be the oldest living sole in town but I sure wouldn't bet against “Not so gentle Ben”. (Meisner 4 to 3) 

- Ladies Special: Karen McKay, President, Prince George District Teachers Association, vs Education Minister, Shirley Bond. Since the PG Mount Robson MLA is used to taking several shots, and/or body blows, she has the big advantage. (Bond 5 to 2) 

- No Holds Barred Spectacular: Former MLA, Paul Nettleton, vs Premier Gord Campbell. Nettleton has gone into hiding since getting shelled in the last election. Campbell may wish to go into hiding based on his dwindling support. Former BC Rail employees will want a ringside seat. (Nettleton 5 to 4) 

- Semi-Main: Mayor Colin Kinsley vs Councilor Brian Skakun. All short people should be able to relate to this dandy. Since these two aren't exactly on the best of terms they might have trouble waiting until fight night. (Kinsley 3 to 2) 

- Main Event: Rick Brodsky, PG Cougars owner vs Stan Butler, former PG Cougars coach and Super Boss of the OHL's Brampton Battalion. Yes, the Butler did do it. Eight years ago, Stan bolted from the Cougar’s Den, and Brodsky has never forgiven him, and likely never will. The Vince McMahon-Brett Hart feud was nothing compared to these guys. I hate to say it, but this bout should have an “R” rating. (Pick-em) 

So there's the proposed card. We may want to make it adults only, considering the anticipated intensity of the fights, especially the main event. I look forward to your response. 

Sincerely Yours

Hartley Miller

PS---By the way, the date I'm looking to book this card is, of course, December 26th. 

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Still in the ring, a battle of the sexes boxing match between 165-pounders Ann Wolfe and Bo Skipper, billed as "Ann versus Man" has been booked for Oct. 15 in Biloxi, Mississipi.. Tim Dahlberg of The Associated Press says, "It's hard to give boxing a black eye, because the sport keeps hitting itself below the belt."
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One of the bat boys for the Florida Marlins has been suspended six games after he drank a gallon of milk on a dare. This prompted L.A. Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny (who said he would pay 500 bucks if the batboy drank the milk in an hour without throwing up) to say, "It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk." In case you were wondering, the batboy never did get the $500.

Randy Turner of the Winnipeg Free Press says: "Interesting that a league that turned a blind eye to performance-enhancing drugs turns out to be lactose intolerant."

….and from Los Angeles Times reader Bill Littlejohn: "What's next, mandatory drug tests for Pat Boone?"
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Hall of Famer Frank Robinson, recalling when scout Bobby Mattick told Robinson's mother (in 1956) that he could get her son signed for $3,500.
"My mother said, 'That's fine, but I don't think I have $3,500.' "

And, how is your week?

--Hartley Miller is the Sports Director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97FM. He also writes for the PG Free Press.

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