Hartley Miller's Slap-Shots November 23rd Edition

By Hartley Miller

It is hard to believe, but I feel sorry for Prince George Cougars General Manager Dallas Thompson. It can't be a lot of fun when your team is outscored 38-14 during an eight game losing streak. I don't have a pipeline into Dallas’ day-to-day operations, but I am sure it has been a rough week in the Cat’s front office. Here's my best guess as to how his conversations went with some of Thompson’s close associates:

Starting on the home-front he greets his wife, and Cougars Business Manager, Brandi Brodsky...

DT: Good Morning Dear!

BB:  Don't start with me. I'm doing my best to bring people back in the building and you're certainly not helping matters. You told me those rookies can play. I don't know how many more discounts I can offer to fans, because quite frankly, the best promotion is winning. I would even be happy winning half the time. Here's the cot....Hope you don't rot.

Next, down the hall, he bumps into Mike Davis: Public/Media Relations & Sales….

DT: Hi Mike! How are you doing today?

MD: Well, If I can be honest, for just a moment, Mr. Thompson, it's a real rough go here with the recent results. I'm trying my best to spin positive things to the media and sponsors, but quite frankly I am running out of answers. Even the janitor keeps coming up to me with solutions, and that's tough to take.

The day continues with a knock on Coach Drew Schoneck’s office door…..

DT: Hey, Drew, just thought I would stop in to see how you are holding up?

DS: Well, let's see. We are 9-17, second worst record in the Conference, thank goodness for Portland. We have the worst penalty kill, we have allowed the most goals and the guys simply aren't buying in to what Wade (Assistant Coach Klippenstein) and I are preaching to them. Other than that, I am okay. Dallas, we go back a long way and we have been friends since we played junior hockey, but let's be honest, you have over-rated the talent here. I helped bail you out last season when you fired those other coaches. Now, I'm asking for a favor in return. Do something. Bring in some players I can work with!

Now the final stop! It's off for a meeting with the Super Boss, Rick Brodsky, President….

DT: I hear you wanted to see me and I can only assume it's not about where I am taking your daughter (Brandi) out for supper tonight.

RB: Ever since I came to Prince George, I vowed that the Cougars may get outscored, but it's unacceptable to get outworked. I put you in charge. I believe in you. I was proud of you last season. You made the critics eat crow when we reached the Western Final. What is happening now hurts me deeply. I promised PG a winner. I don't know how much longer I can let things fester.  Let me say this, I have really tried to find a bright light. The only thing I can come up with is it certainly looks like we
are going to have a top five overall bantam draft pick next year..................

DT: UHMMMMMM, Sorry to interrupt you, Sir, but remember I traded away that first round pick last season.

RB:  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

From the quote rack:

“Talk about extra pressure -- players are expected to hit the cup on the first shot.”Jeff Funnekotter, in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix on the PGA and LPGA planning to do drug testing in 2008.

“Rickey Williams has been reinstated to play in the NFL and is considering playing for the Miami Dolphins again once they can come to a joint agreement.”
Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)

“Soccer great Pele says that North American fans were duped by David Beckham, saying Becks is a playmaker, not a scorer. With all due respect to Pele, isn't this also how Travis Henry's career began?”Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Star Phoenix 

“Dennis Green was recently granted an audience with Pope Benedict. He's not going back to the Cardinals again, is he?”Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

“So A-Rod will end up back with the Yankees after all, and was quoted as saying "We know there are other opportunities for us, but Cynthia and I have a foundation with the club that has brought us comfort, stability and happiness.Translation, the market for a temperamental slugger with a history of choking in the post season isn't as strong as we thought.”Comedy writer Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California.

And in case you missed it:

Colorado Avalanche forward Paul Stastny reached the 100-point mark in his 99th game. According to the Denver Post, Stastny's dad, Peter, reached the 100 mark in 73 games, while his uncles, Marian and Anton, needed just 82 and 95 games, respectively.

And how was your week?

Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com

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