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Hartley Miller's Slap Shots June 5th, 2009

By Hartley Miller

Friday, June 05, 2009 03:45 AM

The time has arrived for the NHL to seriously consider a Canadian Division.
 
Yes, this concept would intrigue hockey fans. Through the playoffs, fans in Canada would see which team is the best in the country. Moreover, this idea would also please American fans as they would see less teams north of the border. It is a win-win situation. 
 
Under my proposal each team would continue with an 82 game schedule which includes playing everybody else in the league, at least twice. I am sure this would maintain or intensify rivalries. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
 
Okay, so here’s the plan. First, expand from 30 to 32 teams. The Coyotes would remain in Phoenix under new local ownership. Then, the NHL should gladly take billionaire Jim Balsillie’s money by awarding him an expansion franchise to Hamilton. However, he may have to pay an extra fee to both Toronto and Buffalo for territorial rights, but this is a detail that can be solved. As well, the NHL should award another expansion team, to the highest bidder; to the city of Winnipeg. Seems simple, so far? New expansion revenue, no moving of franchises, more interest in Canada, and 32 teams, which equals four eight team divisions.
 
The Canadian division would consist of Western Canadian franchises in Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary and Winnipeg along with eastern representatives Toronto, Hamilton, Ottawa and Montreal. To address travel, and time zone issues, each team in the west would play each other six times for a total of 18 games and each of the Eastern Canadian teams four times for a total of 16 games. This would be reversed in the east.
 
Now, this leaves 48 games against other teams not in the same division. In other words, two games each, one home, and one away against the other 24 teams. Do your math and you will see this will result in an 82 game schedule, just like now.
 
Each of the other three divisions would be set-up similar to the Canadian division where a team would play some teams six times and others four within your division, and every other club in the league twice.
 
So, you have read my theory. How will this work in reality? Here’s an example. The Canucks would play three home and three road games against the Oilers, Flames and a new Winnipeg team. Vancouver would also play two home and two away vs the Maple Leafs, Habs, Senators and the new Hamilton team. To heighten the excitement, they will play one home and one away against every other NHL club. Doesn’t that sound ideal?
 
Let’s take this one step further. The top four teams in the Canadian division (as well as the other three divisions) would make the playoffs. Accordingly, this leaves 16 teams in the post-season. The division winner meets team four and Division runner-up plays team three in the first round. Winners then advance to the division final. The winner of that series then would join the other three division winners in the Stanley Cup semi-finals. The final four match-ups could be based on most points vs least and second most vs third most.
 
A team like the Canucks could possibly meet Calgary in the first round and Toronto in the second round (Okay, maybe the Maple Leafs wouldn’t make it that far, so let’s say Montreal). Just think a Canadian champion, each year. This could create unparalleled enthusiasm throughout the country.
Furthermore, this pleases the U.S. because the first two rounds guarantee American matchups. That could help attendance and satisfy the all important television networks.
 
This playoff structure is similar to the NCAA men’s basketball March Madness format, but with less teams, featuring a best of seven series, instead of a single knockout.
 
In addition, to recognize history, my plan features new divisional names, honoring four of its greatest players. For instance, Edmonton could play in the Wayne Gretzky (Canadian) division while other divisions could salute Mario Lemieux, Gordie Howe and Bobby Orr.
 
Of course, there could be some tweaking with the division names and teams from the east and central division, (IE Dallas and Columbus); nevertheless, the concept is solid. This re-alignment is a win-win for the teams, the league and the all important paying public, the fans. And isn’t that what it's all about?
 
 
MY PROPOSED DIVISIONS….
 
 
Wayne Gretzky (Canadian): Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg, Toronto, Hamilton, Ottawa, and Montreal.
 
Bobby Orr (Pacific/Central): LA, Anaheim, San Jose, Phoenix, Colorado, St Louis, Chicago, and Dallas.
 
Gordie Howe (South/West): Washington, Carolina, Florida, Atlanta, Tampa, Nashville, Columbus, and Minnesota.
 
Mario Lemieux (Atlantic): Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New Jersey, NY Rangers, NY Islanders, Boston, Buffalo, and Detroit.
 

 From the quote rack:  

 
 
You know the only thing that hasn't changed in 17 years? The (LA) Clippers still suck.  NBC's Jay Leno, on his final night as host of the Tonight Show.
 
 This studio holds 380 people. It's just like being at a Clippers game. NBC's Conan O'Brien, on his first night as host of the Tonight Show in Los Angeles.
 
Some fans worry that since the Cleveland Cavaliers disappointedly lost in the NBA semi-finals that Lebron James will want out of town. Well, the Cavs could always trade him to the Clippers, where at least he won’t have to worry about playoff losses.

President Obama has been criticized for taking his wife to New York City for a dinner and Broadway show. But come on, Barack didn’t do anything ridiculously extravagant, like taking Michelle to a Yankees game.
Manny Ramirez is rehabbing during his 50 game suspension with a minor league team. In the best interests of baseball, some are asking that the rehab be with the Washington Nationals. Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)
 
 
The arrest of a Florida steroids dealer who claims he has sold the drug to members of the Washington Nationals raises questions as to whether the drugs can still be called performance enhancing.


Calgary Flames GM Darryl Sutter says he doesn't use Twitter calling it too wordy.  Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)
 
 
The University of Texas beat Boston College in 25 innings Saturday – the longest college baseball game in NCAA history. The game was so long that there were three seventh-inning Twitters!
Susan Boyle finished in second-place in the finals of “Britain’s Got Talent” on Saturday. First place went to Helio Castroneves

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho http://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/
 
 
 Stating that they're too heavy and are adversely affecting her game, Romanian tennis player Simona Halep is having surgery to reduce her breasts. I hear they're calling it a Mannyplasty.
 
Ted Williams' fishing license and personal notes on local fishing holes have been stolen during an auction preview in New Hampshire. Was it ice fishing?
 
A doctor says that Lamar Odom's inconsistency in the playoffs is due to a large amount of candy consumption that leads to highs and crashes. So, when Lamar is on the court, I guess the Lakers go into a Twinkie Defense. Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California
  

Buffalo's mayor presented Terrell Owens with the key to the city. In my office pool, I've got the first week in November for the mayor having the lock changed. Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle.

And in case you missed it:

  
Sorry I couldn't catch you. I was just picking up all the money falling out of your pockets.
Detroit Lions defensive end Eric Hicks (as reported by the Detroit News), during a recent team workout, after he failed to run down $41.7 million rookie quarterback Matthew Stafford on a rollout play.
 
 
Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com.
 

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