Panel data provided by Madison's Canadian Lumber Reporter.

Hartley Miller's Slap Shots - December 30th Edition

By 250 News

There's a good chance you have heard of the Oscars, Emmys, and quite possibly the Tonys. But what about the Hartleys?
Now, stop shaking your head! 94X, The Wolf@97fm and Opinion250 have teamed up to present the first Annual Hartleys. To be eligible for an award, the winner must have had a noticeable accomplishment in 2005, a “di-STINK-tion” that stands out.
Arguably, this honor is more profound than entering the BC Boxing Hall of Fame or even having a track facility named after you and your family.
Wait no longer. The Envelope please…..

? BIGGEST PUBLIC RELATIONS BLUNDER: This wasn’t even close. When fans are charged fees for a service all other leagues and organizations give for free, then clearly one is in a class (less) by themselves. If you visit their website, and click on Fan Zone, you will have the luxury of paying to get information. And the Winner is: The BCHL. Accepting the award, Commissioner John “I’m proud of this idea” Grisdale.

? BIGGEST DECISION TO RUIN A SPORT: Hard to say who wants to take credit for this one since many ill-informed “suits” were in on this bad decision. And the Winner is: The introduction of the shootout in hockey. It appears that there are too many candidates who want to come forward to accept this award, so I guess we will have to have a shootout to decide.

? I’LL DRINK TO THAT: Actually, I won’t, and my cup remains half empty. And the Winner is: The decision to allow beer to be sold at Cougar games. Accepting the award, PG Cougars Business Manager Brandi “I still can’t figure out why our crowds are shrinking” Brodsky. 

? BIGGEST FALL FROM #1: A landslide choice. They were ranked #1 in the country, after the pre-season, but as of the Christmas break they sport a mediocre 4-4 record. And the Winner is: The UNBC Men’s Basketball Team. Accepting the award, Head Coach Zane “I guarantee we will do better in the New Year” Robison. 

? THE WHAT TOOK SO LONG: A dead “heat”. And the Winners are: The UNBC Women’s Basketball Team , who took forever in hiring the obvious candidate Dave Holmes as interim coach, and the PG Spruce Kings , who in a bitter battle after weeks of debate, finally re-hired Head Coach Ed Dempsey. Accepting the award, the man with ties to both organizations, UNBC Athletics and Recreation Co-Ordinator Len “I've only been the Spruce Kings GM four times” McNamara. 

? SHORTEST TIME IN THE GRAVE: These teams officially died, and yet in a few short weeks, were back in business. The Undertaker would be proud. And the winners are: The CNC VOLLEYBALL TEAMS. . Accepting the award, CNC Athletic Director Ann “Can I wake up now” Oishi. 

? MEDIA SPORTS PERSONALITY: This person can be nasty, aggressive, in your face, domineering, bombastic, overbearing and of course, controversial. And the Winner is: Harpreet “My New Year’s resolution is to be nice to everyone” Sidhu of the PG Free Press. 

I now have good news, and bad news, as we reach intermission of what has been a very productive adventure. The good news is we are just part way through our awards presentation. The bad news is you will have to wait until next week to find out the remaining winners. 

In the meantime, HAVE A HAPPY, AND SAFE NEW YEAR !!!

From the quote rack:
• "Isn't having a career in the first place a prerequisite?'' Brooks Melchior of sportsbybrooks.com, on reports that Anna Kournikova is considering a comeback.
• "Until his daughter came along, Pat Ryan was considered the greatest peeler in the history of curling." Terry Jones of the Edmonton Sun, After Lynsay Ryan, wearing very little, took part in a ladies curling calendar photo shoot.
• "Seattle may ban lap dances at strip clubs. Entire Sonics team requests trade." Headline at Fark.com.
• "Yes, he’s a nose tackle and his nickname is Booger. So you can really see why, for the NFL draft, a nose tackle named “Booger” was picked". Comedian Alex Kaseberg, on Tampa Bay Buccaneers nose tackle, Anthony “Booger” McFarland.
• “When it comes to the ultimate twosome in a celebrity best-ball golf tournament, who better than actress Minnie Driver and Mariners pitcher J.J. Putz?” Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times.

And, how is your week?

--Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97FM. He also writes for the PG Free Press, and is author of You Don't Say (Andrews-McMeel, 2005).

Previous Story - Next Story



Return to Home