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Hartley Miller's Slap-Shots- March 5th, 2010

By Hartley Miller

Friday, March 05, 2010 03:45 AM

With Canada collecting a record 26 medals, an Olympic Winter Games record of 14 gold and hockey supremacy re-established, Vancouver 2010 will live on, sketched in our memories for a lifetime.
 
I, like many Canadians, was at a bar (Shooters Sports Pub) when arguably the game's best player, Sidney Crosby, scored the “golden goal” sending Canada into a state of hysteria.
As you know (not that I was counting) Canadian athletes won at least one medal in each day of competition at the Olympics, except for one. 
 
Figure skater Joanne Rochette, who had the honor of carrying the flag at the closing ceremony, was among the individuals who captured the hearts of Canadians. Rochette’s bronze medal effort earned her (along with Slovenian cross country skier and bronze medalist Petra Majdic) the inaugural Terry Fox award. Rochette, whose mother died suddenly in Vancouver, just two days before she competed, was given the award for her determination and humility in the face of obstacles, the same values embodied by the Marathon of Hope Runner.
Many other Canadians could have been recognized for their achievements, other than the medals they received. Here are some examples:
 

Payback Award: And the winner… The Canadian Men's Hockey Team! Really, what was all the fuss about? The country’s critics surfaced after a 5-3 round robin loss to the U.S, suggesting that players like Steven Stamkos and Mike Green should have been on the roster. One can call it revenge, but Canada was superb, when the chips were down, similar to the final at 2002 Salt Lake City Games.
 
It certainly is ironic the Americans beat the Canadians at the World Juniors in overtime after Canada scored a late goal to tie the game. Sound familiar? The Canadians have the last laugh, which is always best. Moreover, in case you did not notice, Canada never trailed in any of the four games they played when facing elimination. This statistic alone-affirms who is best.
Oh, by the way, Crosby's goal is historical, but please do not compare it to Paul Henderson's goal of a lifetime in 1972. Henderson's goal will not be topped or equaled. Period!
 

I WILL drink to that Award: And the winner…The Canadian Women's Hockey Team. Many of Canada's players celebrated by drinking beer, champagne, and smoking cigars with their gold medals draped around their necks (in a much overblown story) on the ice surface at Canada Hockey Place following the 2-0 triumph over the U.S. Somehow, I do not think the Americans wanted to join them.
 
 
Chris Chelios longevity award:   And the winner... Clara Hughes, 37, the opening ceremonies flag bearer, captured bronze in women's long track speed skating. Hughes, with six Olympic medals, is the second oldest medalist in women's speed skating, next to Eevi Huttunen of Finland, who was just 34 days older when she reached the podium in Squaw Valley in 1960. Oh, by the way, was Chelios, (now with the Atlanta Thrashers) in the prime of his career in 1960?
 

A long time coming award: And the winner… Jasey-Jay Anderson. The 34-year-old Montreal native had competed in three previous Olympics in the men's snowboard Giant Slalom without a medal, even though he is a four-time overall World Cup champion. The drought ended with a golden performance on Super Saturday, which co-incidentally came just 10 minutes after Canada won gold in the Men's Long track speed skating team pursuit.

The agony of defeat Award: And the winner… The Cheryl Bernard Canadian Women's Curling Team. Bernard and company know exactly how the Minnesota Vikings felt after they literally gave away the NFC final to the eventual Super Bowl champion, New Orleans Saints. Bernard needed to make either her last shot in the 10th or the last rock in the extra end to claim a gold medal, in the women's curling final against Sweden. However, she fell inches short and had to settle for second. Athletes can certainly be proud of silver, but when you are that close to gold, the stomach can remain in knots for days, weeks and even months.

 
Marry Me Award: And the winners… Scott Moir and Tesse Virtue. The young couple publicly denies the possibility of walking down the aisle one day, but after taking gold in the figure skating ice dance they certainly looked at each other with “goo-goo” eyes.

The Big Bucks Award: And the winners… Freestyle skiers Alexandre Bilodeau and Jennifer Heil, who announced they are donating $25,000 each to charity. The CFL is extremely grateful.
 
Tiger Woods most rendezvous award: And the winner: This is the only vacant title. Yes, the athletes’ village went through hundreds of thousands of condoms, but just like in golf, nobody could challenge the pace and be on the prowl like Tiger.


From the quote rack:  

 
 
In a new version of her 1972 classic, 'You're so Vain', Carly Simon reveals that the subject of the
song is not Warren Beatty or James Taylor or Mick Jagger. It's Tiger Woods.

Russian athletes finished last most often in the just-concluded Olympics. That's good news for the next Siberian Olympic team.
 
48-year old Chris Chelios has been signed by the Atlanta Thrashers. It marks Chris' first time as an Atlanta resident since before Sherman burned it.
Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

Chris Chelios has signed with the Atlanta Thrashers. While finding housing with so few games left in the season could be a problem, he has fortunately been offered a place to stay by his boyhood friends Rhett and Scarlett.
 
So I turned on Mets Classics the other night just in time to see the 1986 team celebrating their World Series win like a bunch of drunken frat boys. Oh wait, that was the Canadian women's hockey team.
Comedy writer Marc Ragovin of New York
 
In Russia, Zhora the chimpanzee has been sent to "rehab" because he has become addicted to smoking and alcohol. I guess this is what comes of letting him hang out with the women's hockey team.


In their never-ending effort to come up with an aggravating prime-time show, NBC did a segment on why Canada has produced so many great comics – Dan Ackroyd, Mike Meyers, John Candy, Jim Carrey…. One of the reasons given was, of course, the cold winters. But great comedy comes from suffering, so why no mention of the Toronto Maple Leafs?
 

Former President Bill Clinton apparently called Tiger Woods recently to pledge his support. Including an offer, if Woods was feeling tempted, to be the caretaker of his rolodex.

Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)
 
 
Blind Canadian Olympic skier Brian McKeever was denied a chance to become the first athlete to compete in both the Olympics and Paralympics when he was not included on the men’s 50 km relay race. Asked to comment McKeever says he never saw it coming.
 
 
David Letterman and former President Bill Clinton were expected to be in attendance for some Olympic curling then they found out it was a different kind of in turn.
Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)
 
 
Pres. Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper bet a case of beer on the outcome of the Olympic Men's Hockey gold medal game. When Obama lost the bet, he blamed it on partisanship and lack of Republican cooperation.
 
 
LeBron James has filed the paperwork that will allow him to change numbers on his jersey from #23 to #6, next season. In other NBA news, Gilbert Arenas hasn’t been told what number he’ll wear in jail for bringing weapons into the locker room. 
Comedy writer Jerry Perishohttp://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/
 

And in case you missed it:

 
Overheard in hushed whispers all over Canada on Sunday just prior to the gold medal game:
 
Our Father, who art in GM Place, HOCKEY be thy name, thy will be done. GOLD to be WON on ice as well as in the stands, give us this day, our hockey sticks and forgive us our penalties, as we forgive those who crosscheck against us. LEAD US not into elimination but deliver us TO VICTORY, in the name of the fans, CANADA and the Holy Puck. AMEN!
 
Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com.
 

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