The Dark Side of Spontaneity
Thursday, March 16, 2006 03:30 AM
The response came back that this was no way to run a life, to which I replied “that’s exactly how I do run my life – or at least have my life run for me…” – an indication that perhaps I might not perceive a reasonable strategic balance in my weekends for my tastes. After all, I focus on organization and strategy for a living (…and I just know this will come back to bite me…).
The simple response to my complaint came back: “Code word: Spontaneity?” This adds to the growing body of evidence that the other gender is indeed in collusion to keep us on our toes, and it did get me thinking.
It never ceases to amaze me how different words, with pretty well the same meaning, can strike each of us with different impressions of comfort. Spontaneity, given some thought, can be strong in my books, but impulsiveness is less so. Nimble remains a positive attribute for me, while my perception of agility is fading by the day through overuse.
Ah, the penny has dropped for me. It’s all about balance, perspective, and gray matter.
My spontaneous reaction to the word ‘spontaneity’ was negative, but this needs to be taken in the context of the situation. Given the advance preparation required for a training offering on the road – the material preparation, the travel logistics, and the travel itself – there is a natural requirement that there be some advance warning to ensure that we can get everything done on time. On the other hand, is it appropriate to arbitrarily set a go/nogo decision that far in advance? After all, travel in this case didn’t involve flights and the course materials would surely be used elsewhere if prepared in advance. It is a delicate balance in open-enrollment training, especially as most organizations have a penchant for last-minute (spontaneous?) commitments to training.
If we were to take a number of words we use every day and have each of us rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 (strongly negative to strongly positive), we would have a wide range of responses, and for some of us the responses to individual words would change dramatically with the context. Our differences in perceptions, in personal tastes, will strongly colour our different views of the same situation. And we say we communicate…
For me, spontaneity (and agility, for that matter) is fine if appropriately balanced with a view of the strategic goals. By all means, it can be extremely rewarding to pick up and change plans on a dime, but it needs to be done in the context of getting the important things done. First understand what those important things are, then make changes with at least a modicum of forethought – how each change will affect the greater context – and our ability to achieve our strategic objectives increases dramatically. In the long run, the decisions for change still appear to be instantaneous, but less whimsical.
As a team, we must sit down and come to consensus about the deeper meaning behind the words we use. We need to explicitly surface our different prejudices regarding our terminology, and balance these differences to come to a satisfying agreement. Judicious use of paraphrasing to clarify meaning and an openness to learn and appreciate without having to agree are valuable tools to leverage.
While shared understanding is a difficult goal to achieve, requiring a great deal of thinking, empathy, and feedback, it is crucial to avoid the challenges that most teams struggle with.
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