Hartley Miller's Slap Shots: Friday August 12th Edition

By 250 News

As you already know, former Vernon Vipers coach, Mike Vandekamp, is the not so lucky duck that was hired by the Prince George Cougars to replace the sacked Lane Lambert. I find it a little surprising that I wasn’t contacted by a representative of the Brodsky family asking for my input as to who they should hire as coach. I'm sure that it was just an oversight.
Did you know that there were others in “contention” for the dubious distinction of the Cougar’s “Bench Boss”? After extensive investigative reporting, I present the 12 runner-ups, also known as the “dirty dozen”:

POLITICAL FRINGE CANDIDATES…. 

Brian Skakun-This choice was a favorite among hockey purists. If Skakun was hired, it wouldn’t have been long before he started a crusade to ban fighting.
 
Pat Bell-After another loss, the Cougar players could have drowned their sorrows at Wendy’s. Think about the team's lower food bill with the burgers on the house. 

D ick Harris- This was D ick’s position, only on the condition he promised to step down as MP; a win-win situation for everyone.

LONG SHOTS…

Nevio Rossi-The PGMHA Past President was perceived as bombastic and stuck up as he thought he was smarter than other minor hockey board members and therefore overqualified for this position. 

Dan Martin-The PGMHA President doesn’t skate very well, so he would have fit in with the rest of them. 

Bryan Mix-The founder of the short lived Rocky Mountain Junior Hockey League took himself out of the “Mix” because he refused to take a huge pay cut.

DARK HORSES… 

Brandi Brodsky-It always helps if the coach gets along well with the GM and the owner. Who was better qualified? 

Dane Mckinnon- A “blast from the past” with Mr. Personality Extraordinaire. If Brandi became coach, then this would have opened the door for Dane’s return as Business Manager. What a great 2 for 1 deal ! 

Ben & Elaine Meisner-The WHL's first husband and wife coaching team, otherwise known as Superman, and Superwoman. Ben thinks he knows everything, and Elaine does, so the two of them could have taken the Cougars to the next level.


EX-COUGAR COACHES… 

Doug Hobson-His batteries are recharged. I am glad, for my sake, that he didn’t get the job, so he couldn’t destroy the batteries out of my tape recorder like he did several years ago when he smashed it on the ground. 

Ed Dempsey-This was a great opportunity to “stick it” to the Spruce Kings. 

Lane Lambert-It would have made for great theatre. 

…and speaking of great theatre. How about officially welcoming the new coach on opening night against Seattle? In tribute to the late Harold Ballard, after all the players are introduced, Mike Vandekamp can walk from the dressing room, and strategically place himself behind the bench, with a bag over his head. He could remove it once the puck drops. Then again, maybe Vandekamp may want to keep the bag on permanently.


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--From Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops Daily News, after Seattle Mariners relief pitcher Matt Thornton climbed a fence, stood in line and waited for a urinal with the regular customers at Petco Park in San Diego because there weren't any washrooms attached to the visiting team's bullpen.
"In the end, you might say it was a case of a reliever relieving himself".

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--Russia's first-ever “pig-ball championships” which is five-a-side piglet soccer took place in Moscow. So much for the saying..... This little piggy went to market.......and this little piggy stayed home........

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--In a semi related topic, "The Flip Side" column in the Baltimore Sun has a possible slogan for the closing ceremonies of China's "Pig Olympics".
"Pig Olympics" in Shanghai: "That's alllllll, folks!"



And, how is your week?

--Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97FM. He also writes for the PG Free Press.

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