One of the toughest moments in life is when you suddenly admit that you’ve been in a state of denial .

One of mine came a year or so ago when I gave up fishing. Here was a guy who had fished all his life and he decided he had to stop when he finally realized that he was tormenting animals for personal pleasure. It was hard for me to do but that feeling in the pit of my tummy had been coming more severely and more often.

Now we see the Cloverdale Rodeo canceling some events like calf roping because of pressure of protesters. Many will be quick to condemn the rodeo folks for reacting that way but not I. Rodeos in calf roping, riding steers and bucking broncos are without any doubt, causing animals pain for the pleasure of the spectators and the profit    of those holding the event.

For years I had convinced myself that fish didn’t feel pain or discomfort. But I knew I was kidding myself and what changed me was reading articles from British fly-fishing books that demonstrated that we were hurting fish so that we were like foxhunters, ought to admit it, and join hands with those who rode to hounds. I couldn’t bring myself to support fox hunting but I was forced to think. I could rationalize all I wanted but an animal is an animal and cruelty is cruelty. One form of blood sport might be worse than another but they were blood sports all the same.

I loved flyfishing and especially enjoyed tying flies but I knew that what gave me pleasure was at the expense of cruelty to fish.

Roping calves isn’t bear baiting or bull fighting either but it’s only a matter of degree.

Of course I remain a hypocrite. I eat meat, mostly shellfish but meat all the same, and I wear leather shoes. I may never become a vegetarian much less a vegan.

Still, small step though it is, I’ve taken it.