Hartley Miller's Slap-Shots, April 3rd, 2009

Friday, April 03, 2009 03:45 AM

The Prince George Cougars season mirrored many previous years of less than mediocre results where the cons far outweighed the pros.

It’s difficult to create a top-10 highlight package, but certainly easier to catalogue the pitfalls. As a result, in no particular order, I offer the following list of 08/09 Cougar low lights:

The team’s best player, Dana Tyrell, suffered a season ending knee injury prior to the WHL trading deadline, which meant the Cougars were not able deal their captain to another team for future prospects.
A coaching change was made to start December with likeable Assistant Coach, Wade Klippenstein, replacing the equally likeable Drew Schoeneck, who compiled a 10-18-0-1
record at the time of his dismissal.
Attendance tumbled again with some crowds sinking below 2,000.
The Cougars ended the regular season with the worst record among all playoff teams
(25-44-0-3) finishing 19th in a 22-team league.
The Cats managed a paltry seven road wins in 38 regular season and playoff games.
The club was outscored 51-22 during a disastrous 1-8 road trip in October at which time healthy scratch Dale Hunt was sent home and eventually traded.
The team went 0-12 against Vancouver, including a first-round playoff sweep. The Giants outscored PG 63-18 over those dozen games.
After the Ian Curtis experiment failed, the Cougars chose to play two older goalies, (Kevin Armstrong and Joe Caligiuri) both of whom had save percentages below .900 and goals-against-averages over 3 ½ per game.
The club had a whopping half-a-dozen players finish -30 or worse in the plus-minus department. Seven others were -16 or worse.
Only one player on the team (Parker Stanfield) played all 72 regular season games, yet he was a healthy scratch for game three of the playoff series against Vancouver. What does that tell you?

These 10 aforementioned cons were rattled off quickly and from memory.

On the other hand, the positives were few and far between; nevertheless, in order to maintain a balanced point of view, I submit the following high-lights:

Local boy Brian Matte generated a great story as a 20-year-old walk-on. He had the second
best plus-minus among regulars finishing at minus-six. Matte was a character player who chipped in with 30 points in 48 games.
The Cougars received an outstanding rookie season from the other local boy, Brett Connolly. 30 goals and 30 assists on a bad team were mighty impressive.
Captain Dana Tyrell was picked to Team Canada. Of course, some may suggest that was a negative since he suffered knee ligament damage in the first World Junior exhibition game.
Import Marek Viedensky provided some production (40 points in 59 games) from a European, something rarely seen in a Cougar uniform.
Rookie Greg Fraser improved immensely as the season progressed. He was part of a good crop of 16-year-olds.
Tyler Halladay added much needed grit and toughness to the line-up. A rookie who wasn’t afraid to drop the gloves, he led the club in penalty minutes with 161.
Defencemen Colin Scherger finished a plus one. This sticks out like a cauliflower ear considering how everybody else was a negative in plus-minus.
The Cougars made the playoffs. Okay this is where I am starting to stretch a bit, but being 8th out of 10 is better than a year ago.
The Cats won half of their home games (18-17-0-1). Ok, now, I am really stretching things.
The Cougars remained in town. I know what you’re thinking but some things are better not stated.

Here’s the bottom line. Since the 2000-01 season, the Cougars:

Have a regular season record of 260-330-32-26.
Achieved a playoff record of 16-26.
Have missed the playoffs three times, knocked out of the playoffs five times in the opening round and just once, in 06/07, made a bit of run, winning two rounds to reach the Conference final.
Since Dallas Thompson officially assumed the duties of GM (May 2004), the Cougars are :
139-195-9-17 in the regular season (139 wins in 360 games) and 10-14 in the playoffs, with two non-playoff years.

Whether one looks at the short or long term, the results have been consistent. The facts speak for themselves. In all likelihood, they will hire another coach and move Klippenstein to another position with the organization. Yes, coaches and players come and go. However, the problem with the Cougars is much deeper than coaches and players.

Prince George hockey fans are in a catch 22 situation. They want to support the players, but have also voiced their disapproval by not attending games. The way to solve the problem is to win more games and provide more entertainment. Of course, this is easier said than done.

From the quote rack:

Calgary Stampeders QB Henry Burris has given his newborn son Barron the middle name Grey because of the team's breakthrough CFL title win in November, the Calgary Sun reported. Good thing he never won the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl. Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times

Madonna is apparently trying to adopt a four year old girl from Malawi. What does a 50 year old mother of three want with another whiny child? Guess she misses A-Rod more than we thought.

As the U Conn Huskies have moved into the final four and closer to a national championship, investigations into serious recruiting violations continue. Which could lead to an interesting variation on the old Disney question. “U Conn, you’ve just won the NCAA tournament. Where are you going?” “We’re going on probation.”

Did you hear about Barack Obama's Final Four picks? Think they are Chase, Wells Fargo, JP Morgan, and Bank of America. Contributor Janice Hough of Palo Alto, California (www.leftcoastsportsbabe.com)

Bank of America has extended its sponsorship of the New York Yankees. Apparently the bank executives have a common bond with the players. They both get paid astronomical salaries without producing any results.Comedy writer Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va (http://jokesbyjim.blogspot.com/)

A 105-year-old great-great-great-grandmother will throw out the first pitch for a Florida Marlins spring training game. They say pitching is all in the legs, which is good news for her since she’s had both hips and a knee replaced.

The Detroit Tigers have upset Roman Catholics by scheduling their home opener during holy hours on Good Friday. So, during that time, all pop-ups to the outfield that advance the runner will be called “sacrificial” flies.

Police in California are searching for a woman who skipped town after using a fake credit card to purchase breast implants. They describe her as “armed and voluptuous.”Comedy writer Jerry Perishohttp://monologuewriter.blogspot.com/

Kobe Bryant's former maid is suing him and his wife, contending that she was 'harassed and humiliated', denied health insurance, and forced to quit because of intolerable working conditions. She is seeking an unspecified amount, but said she would settle for an 8-karat diamond ring.

Some of Kobe Bryant's teammates want better relations with him--three just applied to be his housekeeper.

The Maple Leafs have signed Christian Hanson, the son of one of the Hansons (Dave) of 'Slap Shot'. When they picked him up at the motel, he was attacking a soda machine.

The California octuplet mom revealed that the father is a foreign-born California resident who is alive and well, putting to rest rumors that he had been thrown onto the ice during a Red Wings game.

Contributor Bill Littlejohn of South Lake Tahoe, California

Celine Dion has been reported to be interested in buying the Habs and will give it to her husband Rene as a gift for his 100th birthday.

Jesse Lumsden has joined the Olympic bobsleigh team which means watch out for someone slipping on the ice and breaking his hip.Contributor Derek Wilken of Calgary (http://smacksport.blogspot.com/)

And in case you missed it:

"Belgian waffle" Headline in the Spokane Spokesman-Review, after former top-ranked tennis player Kim Clijsters announced she is ending her two-year retirement.

Hartley Miller is the sports director for radio stations 94X and the Wolf@97fm. He also writes for the PG Free Press. Send along a quote, note or anecdote to hmiller@94xfm.com.

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